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Thursday 26 June 2008

Vodbog Replaces...


Vodbog walks steadily and coolly into the room, trips, corrects herself, then continues towards the computer. With a grin that could shave off an iron skin, she starts typing.


"Sorry to be the one to continue, but Sir Bruce has been called to an important meeting with the four riders of the apocalypse. Due to unfortunate circumstances that, I stress, have absolutely nothing to do with the kind Sir, the four apocalyptic horses have been cruelly slain. The only clues left behind are the deep gashes along their bodies, and some traces of compressed carbon. The police are still investigating cause of death.

It is indeed a terrible and foul time in which we live, when Death, Famine, War, and Pestilence must ride out to the stars on three cows and a wheel-chair with fire extinguishers attached."


She glances over her shoulder at the giant clock Sir Bruce was 'borrowing' from his old class-mate, Big Ben. She guesses she might have about ten or fifteen minutes left. Shame Sir forgot to go back for the hands... She turns back to the computer, and her hands dance over the keyboard like trolls on a bouncy castle.


"Ah yes. Exams. It is extremely important to revise for exams, for you will not do well if you fail to memorize everything on the answer sheet given to you.

As the teachers stride between the rows of innocent children, like cats in a meat-pie factory, glaring and hissing, the call out things like "Could Histories please stop trying trying to copy one another", and "Could the English put in the effort to refrain from talking - the Welsh are trying to work." Well, they do say 'You are what you take', which can sometimes get quite complicated - I take Welsh, English, French, and sometimes Latin, when I'm in the mood."

Wednesday 25 June 2008

Blogging

Sir Bruce leans into the camera lens, sqinting in an effort to see who is watching him on the other side. No use. He breathes on the glass, then licks it, before looking back inside. Still nothing but a little red dot. They were watching him, and he couldn't watch them back. Tch - cameras. They were all the same, unless he was the one taking the pictures. Oh yes, he likes taking pictures. Of people, of nature, urban nightscenes... You name it, and he likes taking pictures of it. For those who are sick of the mind, that serves a deeper meaning, but he doesn't like to go into too much detail about it... In public.

And talking of pictures, it has come to his attention that Rhys of Festering Times has stolen some pictures from his gallery, without his knowledge or permission. Punishment has duly been served, but such a crime deserves more than just a noogie. Sir Bruce shall take revenge.

It has also dawned on Sir, after much reading of other people's blogs, that people talk about things that have happenned to them during their day. However, since Sir lives outside time and space, nothing really goes on around him, let alone to him. He has decided to actually listen to Vodbog complain about her day, and write about that, since he has nothing better to do. Besides cause nuclear wars and stop new medicines from being made and tested. Oh, and eat toffee waffles...

Today, Vodbog had exams. And that's when Sir, after a gruelling 3 seconds of listening, gave up.