Housework and Poetry

Now, no one can say that the kind Sir ever asks for much. The odd thing here and there to keep him entertained, out of people's hair and off their backs, but there is only one thing that he might be a little fussy about, and that is housework. He doesn't do it himself, of course. He is Sir Bruce, Lord of Black Holes [ltd.] and destroyer of all things marginally okay. He couldn't possibly do housework. He spend his time doing much more important things, such as stealing candy from babies [which, may he add, is very easy to do when he has thousands of black holes at his disposal. Side-effects include also stealing the baby and half of the playpark], keeping away from french old women, and destroying all things marginally okay. However, he does know the importance of hiegene and a clean workspace, so he took the liberty of making sure that Vodbog keeps everything nice and tidy. Well, Vodbog tries to keep everything nice and tidy, but is, unfortunatley, not very good at it...

So bad, in fact, that they inspired the Sir to write a poem about their attempt to do the dishes. Would you like to hear it? Of course you would.



It was a bad move to make you the cleaner:
You can't even do your bit.
The mugs all smell of playdough,
and the plates are covered in manure.



It is the best poem he has ever written, and he thinks it is because it was inspired by a true story, based on the truth. But then again, he doubts that some of the most famous and well known poets ever wrote the truth about feelings they felt and things they saw. Blake, Brooks, Byron, Poe... No, wait. Edgar's were mostly true, if a little exhaggerated. The Sir was never that good with an axe...

The Sir is so preoccupied with cleanliness in the house that whenever he reads about cool breezes of spring whispering over a glittering lake of blue, he thinks of fabreeze on his curtains, and whenever he reads of dainty little creatures with butterfly wings dancing through a magical if little overgrown forest, he is reminded of that time he accidentally sprayed fairy power spray on his armpits.