Sir Bruce *I* is proud to introduce... himself. For many reasons, most unknown even to himself, he is a Sir. Bruce is just something that comes with the package, so tghat should be ignored. He must always be referred to as 'Sir', 'father', or 'vodbog'. Vodbog is his other *female* half, so be careful when using it. He likes cheese and other fatty foods, such as lard, and genetically modified vegetables. Ah, and that leads him on to another thing... He is a genetically modified hoover from a planet named "Foi", which, incase you haven't noticed, stands for "Figment of Imagination". He has many a son and daughter, although the mothers are unknown. His 'real' family live far out in the remote regions of West Wales, where the wind is used as a way of travel from town to town, and the rain is a constant, brilliantly grey screen across the vision. Of course, this does not affect him because he is *cahem* SIR BRUCE, LORD OF THE BLACK HOLES, AND DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS MARGINALLY OKAY. Anyway, he has a sister, a twin brother, three foster brothers, a half brother, and a half sister. He has one friend named Lord Frederick, but he is not as important... Sir goes to school like any other child, and spends his time scaring those who are young and fresh into being like he - mad. Some reject him and walk away, saying 'weirdo', but the cool ones come and hug him and feed him and go 'HOOOOORRRR' with their hands waving about in the air. Even he had to admit that that's pretty cool... "Wohhhh"
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