Return of the Sir...

*Sir Bruce walks into a padded room and gently massages the arms of a wooden chair* Sir is a funny person... He likes a joke just as much as the next self-obsessed, mentally demented person. He also likes people - they tend to give him attention, which is always welcome as far as he is concerned. He likes hugs - he even has a weird hug of his own, which is when he gently massages the other persons back with his diamond encrusted talons. They never object... Except for that time an actual living person hugged him, but they had merely screamed out for help with some sort of crimson-coloured water dripping down from gaping holes in their back and kidneys and intestines and things hanging out. No one came to their aid. No one ever comes. That is why Sir has his pet dragon, Fuurk, to keep him company when he is alone. Fuurk is good at accepting hugs, and that's why Sir is often seen hugging 'thin air' in the middle of the corridor... Or, of course, any unsuspecting passers by, but they don't tell anyone - they just run around, shouting, and get put in special rooms, much like the one Sir is in. *Sir smiles*

Sir likes friends - they never mistreat him. They all know what happens if they refuse to scrape the alien lifeforms from between his greening toes. The black and red marks are still burned into the pavement from the last time. Sir dislikes teachers - they know that he can look after himself, but that does not excuse them for failing to give him ATTENTION. Some are better, though... a technology teacher, barrel in shape, a history teacher with eyebrows like a giants 'welcome' mat, and a maths teacher who got the job for being able to count to four while making less than five mistakes.

Sir has no enemies.They know that resistance is futile - Sir is all powerful, all seeing, and all knowing. There is no power in the universe strong enough to disagree with his mind - how can you argue with that look? Wide eyes without raising the eyebrows, long thin mouth, and head tilted slightly to one side. He can outstare anything - even the sun blinks under his pressure.(This is mainly due to the suns tendency to disappear behind the horizon but it is not recommended to tell him so)
*Sir Bruce is taken out of the room to an armoured vehicle to another place, where the people are adequately trained to cope with such a creature...*